(Ethan Kuperberg’s scene appeared in the New Yorker, 9/30.)
SCENE I. Verona. Wedding Courtyard.
Fifteen years have elapsed. Enter ROMEO and BENVOLIO of the house of Montague.
ROMEO
Mine dear coz Ben, once boy, now groom,
Ne’er did this day runeth ’bout my head.
You settl’d down! A lion tamed, once wolf,
Now dog. Yet to thou I wisheth, mazel tov.
BENVOLIO
A penny heav’ly dropp’d to rent this barn,
And roving jesters, with their cost, make me the fool.
Lender no more, but borrower for years I’ll be.
O, bar most open, of thou advantage I may as well taketh.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/romeo-juliet-epilogue